You women are fantastic at giving each other compliments. I hear it all the time at the office and in my classrooms. It is not uncommon at all to hear remarks such as:
“I love your new haircut!”
“You’ve lost weight haven’t you? You look great!”
There really is nothing quite like a sweet and genuine compliment to help brighten your day! No matter our age or gender, it seems like everyone enjoys receiving compliments of all kinds (including kind words about our appearance).
A Few Caveats
First, this article is simply based on my observations. I am not aware of any research on this topic. However, I believe these ideas still valuable ideas that can help any marriage.
Second, even though this article is targeting wives, husbands are not exempt! Wise husbands understand the importance of giving sweet and genuine compliments to their wives. Our wives should frequently hear from us how beautiful they are (both inside and out).
If Not From You, Then From Who?
However, if we men fail in complimenting our wives, unacceptable as this may be, you women generally still receive frequent compliments from the women in your lives (friends, colleagues, even strangers).
While we might not show it, did you know that we men crave genuine compliments just like you women do? The difference is that if your husband isn’t hearing compliments from you (especially compliments about his looks), he may not be hearing these from anyone else.
Even though I’ve worked with many men over the years, I don’t generally hear these comments coming from other men:
“Hey Ralph, I love those new slacks! You look so skinny in those pants.”
“Bill, did you do something different to your hair? It looks great today!”
And, I’m not going to lie, I’m not entirely sure that I want other men telling me that I look handsome.
Not only do we not get compliments from other men, but once we men get married, other women generally don’t compliment us on our looks (and understandably so).
As a wife, you really are the best chance for your husband to hear compliments about his appearance!
A Compliment a Day
My challenge for you women is to give a genuine compliment about your husband’s looks at least once per day. Yes, keep complimenting him on his parenting skills, his work ethic, and his sense of humor.
However, also give him frequent genuine compliments about his appearance. This will likely be the only time he hears it. And, whether we admit it or not, we husbands want the assurance that our wives still find us attractive!
But it shouldn’t just stop at compliments. There are plenty of ways to show your spouse that he’s just as attractive as ever!
Why Stop There?
I get the sense that you are the type of woman who wants to do more to strengthen your marriage than simply share a genuine compliment each day. If I’m right (and I bet I am) then I suggest that you go find your husband and kiss him (and kiss him good)!
If you want to pleasantly surprise him, kiss him like you did when you first fell in love. Try this a few times per day! This will certainly help your man feel like you still find him attractive.
So, rather than a quick peck as he heads out the door, surprise him with a passionate kiss as you part. That will put a smile on his face and a spring in his step (and likely gross out your kids at the same time . . . an added bonus).
Plus, this fun and simple act of kissing your spouse more, will actually strengthen your marriage (see The Magic of the Six Second Kiss).
- Give daily compliments to your husband (including compliments about his looks).
- Kiss him like you did when you were newlyweds!
These two principles may seem simple, but reminding your husband that you’re attracted to him could make a big difference in your marriage. So next time you think your husband looks good, let him know!