From day one of being a mom, I was so excited to nurture my little girl. I wanted to give her the world! I thought the least I could do would be to give her the food she needed to develop well. And I knew my “liquid gold” would be the best thing to help my baby girl grow healthy and strong.
Breastfeeding has so many benefits, both for baby and for mom. But what people don’t usually talk about is the fact that it can be really, really hard.
Now after nursing two kids, I’ve realized that it’s not all that different from marriage. Here are a few things I’ve learned.
1. It’s hard.
Yes, breastfeeding is natural and good. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy! There are all sorts of things to adjust to, especially at the beginning. Breastfeeding can bring sore nipples, engorged breasts, a crazy feeding schedule, and more. And just when you think you’ve figured it out, more challenges come!
Similarly, marriage is natural and good. We want to be with someone we love in a secure relationship. But just like breastfeeding, marriage can be hard too! Marriage means there’s someone else to coordinate with, and odds are there will sometimes be misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Like breastfeeding, there are difficulties and things to adjust to in married life, both at the beginning and all along the way.
2. It’s good for you.*
Pediatricians agree that breastfeeding is so good for a baby’s development. Breast milk naturally has the nutrients, calories, and antibodies your baby needs to be healthy! It also creates a healthy bond, probably in part because mom and baby have to work together to figure it out.
Marriage, like breastfeeding, definitely has its benefits! People who are married are more likely to live longer and be happier. And like breastfeeding, being married allows you to grow closer to the one you love as you work through the difficulties that naturally arise.
3. It’s individual.
Every new mom has different challenges, because her body and baby’s body are unique. Not only that, but those challenges will likely change over time. For example, my baby girl used to fall asleep all the time while eating. When she got older, she stayed awake but got distracted easily. These individual challenges, however, gave us great opportunities to work together and grow.
Just like every mom and baby is different, each marriage has both unique challenges and solutions. Basic principles can help both with breastfeeding and marriage, but ultimately, the two of you have to figure it out. So work together to find what helps you get through the hard times and really enjoy the sweet blessings that come.
Don’t give up!
With my first child especially, there were days when I was tempted to give up on breastfeeding, to throw in the towel and give her formula instead. But I’m so grateful my little girl and I were able to learn and grow together.
Maybe there are times when you want to give up on your marriage, when you think it’s just not worth the effort anymore. But don’t give up! Don’t give in! You may find that it is working through those difficulties that makes your marriage even sweeter.
*Disclaimer: For various reasons, some moms or babies may not be able or choose not to breastfeed. The same is true for marriage. This article is in no way trying to put down those who don’t breastfeed, or those who get divorced/don’t marry. Everyone’s situation is different.
Author’s note: I originally wrote this article while I was breastfeeding my first child. Nursing child number two was a lot easier (partly because he was easier, partly because of what I’d already learned). But I found that these principles still hold true for both breastfeeding and marriage.
Elizabeth Warner, Content Manager
Elizabeth Warner graduated with a Bachelor’s Degree in Marriage and Family Studies from Brigham Young University-Idaho. She is married to a wonderful man, and together they have two delightful kids. When she’s not busy changing diapers or teaching her daughter to read, she enjoys exercise & nutrition, hand lettering, and writing.
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